Very cool and timely post! Our family is entering into the same arena, as my daughter wants an email address, IM account, text account (more important than cell) and a website. You mentioned the right approach - manage behavior and don’t avoid the technology.

This topic is also just starting to come up with other families at our school who have considerably less awareness of technology. I’m pulling together a list of acceptable rules for both parents and kids and wanted to see what you think. May be overkill, but could be modified as appropriate.

Kids’ Pledge

* I will choose a safe and sensible screen name for myself that will not reveal personal information about my family or me.
* I will not give out my Internet password to anyone (even my best friends) other than my parents. I will not sign up for other email accounts without my parents’ approval.
* I will not give out personal information such as my address, telephone number, parents’ work address/telephone number, or the name and location of my school without my parents’ permission.
* I will tell my parents right away if I come across any information that makes me feel uncomfortable.
* I will treat others the way I want to be treated.
* I will never fill out questionnaires or any forms online without my parent’s permission.
* I will use good manners when I’m online, including good language and respect. I will not pick fights or use threatening or mean words. I will be a good online citizen and not do anything that hurts other people or is against the law.
* I will never agree to get together with someone I “meet” online without first checking with my parents. If my parents agree to the meeting, I will be sure that it is in a public place and bring my mother or father along.
* I will never send a person my picture or anything else without first checking with my parents.
* I will not respond to any messages that are mean or in any way make me feel uncomfortable. It is not my fault if I get a message like that. If I do I will tell my parents right away so that they can contact the service provider.
* I will talk with my parents so that we can set up rules for going online. We will decide upon the time of day that I can be online, the length of time I can be online, and appropriate areas for me to visit. I will not access other areas or break these rules without their permission.
* I will check with my parents before downloading or installing software or doing anything that could possibly hurt our computer or jeopardize my family’s privacy.
* I understand my parents will supervise my time online and use software to monitor or limit where I go online. They’re doing this because they love me and want to protect me.
* I will help my parents understand how to have fun and learn things online and teach them things about the Internet, computers and other technology.

Parent Pledge

1 I will get to know the services and Web sites my child uses. If I don’t know how to use them, I’ll get my child to show me how.
2 I will set reasonable rules and guidelines for computer use by my children and will discuss these rules and post them near the computer as a reminder. I’ll remember to monitor their compliance with these rules, especially when it comes to the amount of time they spend on the computer.
3 I will not overreact if my child tells me about a problem he or she is having on the Internet. Instead, we’ll work together to try to solve the problem and prevent it from happening again.
4 I promise not to use a PC or the Internet as an electronic babysitter.
5 I will help make the Internet a family activity and ask my child to help plan family events using the Internet.
6 I will try to get to know my child’s “online friends” just as I try get to know his or her other friends.

Regards,

Bill